Hardwick, Vermont – A national crisis arose in Hardwick, Vermont this morning when a cow was spotted crossing Main Street. Citizens panicked as the cow stood in the middle of the street just mooing. The street quickly filled up with traffic; three cars were held up for almost ten minutes! Luckily, the people in the middle of this calamity kept the spirit of a true American. They stayed hopeful and tried to find an immediate solution.

            When thinking of a solution, one more car now entered the traffic line. They realized they needed to act fast. First, one man of 46, the hero of the story, who would like to remain anonymous as he “doesn’t need the attention”, tried to make a maneuver around the cow with his vehicle. He realized “the cow was too fat because it is feeding season.” Everyone banded together to push the cow out of the way. They stepped out of their cars and tried nudging the cow towards the other side of the road, even attempting to lure it with food, but the cow laid down. There was no future in sight for the citizens of Hardwick, Vermont.

            That is until President Donald Trump was alerted of the national emergency going on in Hardwick, Vermont. The mayor of the town had President Trump’s phone on speed dial as President Trump knew he would eventually be needed in Hardwick. He immediately called and alerted him of the situation when he saw the situation outside his window when birdwatching. President Trump knew he had to act fast and with force; and so he did. He called the national guard off their duty in reducing the violence in war torn Portland, Oregon to head to the heart of the nation, Hardwick, Vermont.

   As military helicopters flew over the town, the crowd of four cars cheered. They had hope again. The helicopters landed in the fields of cows, warning the cows of the force of the American military. About fifty-seven soldiers stormed the center of the town from all sides, running straight for the cow. The cow was frightened by the power of America, instantly walking across the street to eat some wheat it saw. The people cheered in excitement, giving each other high fives and thanking the national guard for their service. Thankfully, the four people were only five minutes late to their jobs in the cow fields.

An old man of 65 by the name of Richard was interviewed for his firsthand perspective. Richard stated, “The situation was wicked crazy. It reminded me of my time serving in the Vietnam War but if America had the upper hand. And I really do want you to use my name. I could use the attention.”

 President Donald Trump was interviewed for his secondhand perspective. He stated, “I’m leaving the national guard in Hardwick, Vermont until I feel it is as safe as our other cities again. Hardwick is so unsafe, it’s sad, so unbelievably sad. Hopefully the cows stay away from us. It’s just so sad. Yeah, I could use the attention also.”

Written By: Greigh Cloward